When I broke, I didn’t break down, I broke open. These are the whispers of the winds of the storm as it whips around me.īut now, that woman who thought she was breaking down, who thought the next small gust of wind would be the one that finally got her - she’s flipped the script a bit. My entrepreneurial dreams aren’t meant to be. I’ll never be ‘successful’, whatever I believed that to mean. I’m not good enough to make it in my corporate job. These things alone may not sound like enough to break someone, but it’s never really just about what’s happening in front of us, is it? It’s more about the fearful stories hidden within these storms threaten to uncover. I follow my heart, I take aligned action, and this is what I get? Thanks for nothing bruh…. I spent some time very frustrated with God about this. Even the experienced people on our team have been in awe of our all around nasty luck. I know everyone says that about home renovation projects, and honestly we thought we were prepared for that. And yet, the project we chose has been harder than I ever could have imagined, with seemingly every possible thing that could go wrong going wrong.

All real estate is a risk, so you mitigate it as much as possible. It was a risk, but we don’t take uncalculated risks. We read and read and read and listened to podcasts, webinars, etc. We prepared and educated ourselves, spending countless hours networking and talking to people who were doing what we wanted to do. But we had done it successfully before, and now I wanted to do it again but BIGGER. I decided to go for it and live out my desire to do something within one of passion areas of home design. The way that women (and pretty much anyone that isn’t a white or Indian heterosexual male) are treated is beyond what I ever told myself I would tolerate. I wrestle with that every day I have to go in. People mean nothing, we are all just numbers without names or faces or dreams of our own. I do well at my job, but it’s become something so far from what my heart longs for - it’s soulless and cold and corporate, in every way that corporate can be.

My professional life has been a major element of the storm now for awhile, at least the last 2 years.

Danielle doby i am her tribe